ANXIETY

As I work continue working through the issues of codependence, I am so grateful for the growth and healing of the past year and a half. I'm in a healthier, happier place - life is truly good! Yet, I still have much work to do before I'm where I want to be.

So, with that said, I'm taking note of where the critical areas lie - anxiety is my current topic of choice. You know, the kind that makes you feel as if you're in a mental fog and debilitatingly unsure of yourself. It expresses itself in me as emotionally shutting down, stuttering, and letting imagined fears influence how I act. I become controlling and resistant. I feel as if I can’t make an intelligent comment to save my life and become so self-focused that I cry at the drop of a hat over things I’d laugh at normally. I create drama, over-focus on minor events, and feel like I'm damaging relationships. 

My goal is to identify when I feel anxiety and not let it take me into a downward spiral. As with all aspects of our lives, this is an area that requires continual effort over the long-haul (I've been dealing with this for a good many years now). Therefore, the information that follows is not new to me. In fact, it's advice my best friend has been telling me for years.

Anxiety prone people "… treat every negative thought as if it were fact. You may also discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems, assuming you’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble. These irrational, pessimistic attitudes are known as cognitive distortions.

Although cognitive distortions aren’t based on reality, they’re not easy to give up. Often, they’re part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. In order to break these bad thinking habits and stop the worry and anxiety they bring, you must retrain your brain.

Start by identifying the frightening thought, being as detailed as possible about what scares or worries you. Then, instead of viewing your thoughts as facts, treat them as hypotheses you’re testing out. As you examine and challenge your worries and fears, you’ll develop a more balanced perspective.

§  What’s the evidence that the thought is true? That it’s not true?

§  Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?

§  What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen?

§  If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?

§  Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me?

§  What would I say to a friend who had this worry?

Worrying is usually focused on the future—on what might happen and what you’ll do about it. The centuries-old practice of mindfulness can help you break free of your worries by bringing your attention back to the present. In contrast to the previous techniques of challenging your anxious thoughts or postponing them to a worry period, this strategy is based on observing and then letting them go. Together, they can help you identify where your thinking is causing problems, while helping you get in touch with your emotions.

§  Acknowledge and observe your anxious thoughts and feelings. Don’t try to ignore, fight, or control them like you usually would. Instead, simply observe them as if from an outsider’s perspective, without reacting or judging.

§  Let your worries go. Notice that when you don’t try to control the anxious thoughts that pop up, they soon pass, like clouds moving across the sky. It’s only when you engage your worries that you get stuck.

§  Stay focused on the present. Pay attention to the way your body feels, the rhythm of your breathing, your ever-changing emotions, and the thoughts that drift across your mind. If you find yourself getting stuck on a particular thought, bring your attention back to the present moment.

Using mindfulness meditation to stay focused on the present is a simple concept, but it takes practice to reap the benefits. At first, you’ll probably find that your mind keeps wandering back to your worries. Try not to get frustrated. Each time you draw your focus back to the present, you’re reinforcing a new mental habit that will help you break free of the negative worry cycle.*

*http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anxiety_self_help.htm

May the merciful One grant me the persistence I need to succeed!