Overdue

It’s time.

Time to open my eyes to the reality of the life I’ve lived for far too many years. A life of codependency. A life where I gave my all and then some only to have it taken from me. No, let me rephrase that. It was not taken from me – I’ve been set free from a life of emotional and mental bondage. Why, oh why did it take so long for me to really see?

When I left, I knew I could never return to that place where I was valued so little. So many months of emotional struggle since then.  Now, I ask (finally): Let go of what? Let go of manipulation and being used? Let go of people who are not only unable to love me in return but actually blame me for their lack? Let go of fear? Wow… that’s all so worth hanging onto (insert sarcasm).

My greatest regret now is that I hung on so long and put my dearest friend through so much more than I needed to. For that I am truly sorry. She walked beside me through it all showing me the reality of my life and helped me through many dark times… over and over again. I do not deserve that unconditional love and loyalty. No, I’ve been given a great gift, one I value beyond measure.

I thank my G-d for His mercy and enduring love, for the true freedom He has given me. I praise His Awesome and Holy Name!

Yes, it's about time I move on with my life.

 "... For why should my liberty be determined by someone else's conscience? If I partake with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of that for which I give thanks?" 

 "Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!"

 "I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart!"

*It's also time for me to cut ties with some people on Facebook.  I don't intend to hurt anyone (one in particular, and that one knows how to contact me if need be - and I am truly sad that I felt I had to do this), but I need to make a new start and not feel like I have to be so cautious about what I post for fear it may get back to those who think so little of me.  More than likely most won't even notice or care much anyway.