40 Questions - Part 3

21. What's a common misconception that people have about you?

I have to say that people often think I'm just a weak willed follower, easily influenced by stronger personalities around me.  I don't like that at all, I have to say.

Yes, I'm a last born and have had a tendency to go with the flow.  I don't have a real strong personality.

However, that's not to say that I don't have my own opinions and don't make my own decisions. It doesn't mean that I'm immature and tossed about by every 'wind of doctrine'.  The L-rd has graciously granted me a measure of wisdom and a strong faith that apparently isn't seen by some.

I can say, too, that I don't like it.  I don't want people to think I'm unintelligent and weak.  Those who think that have never walked in my shoes any more than I've walked in theirs.

22. What is one thing that no one can take away from you?

My G-d. My faith in Him. His love and, I think I can safely say the love of my closest friends.

Also, my experiences - they're mine.  No one else has lived them but me.  No one else knows how deeply they impact me or what effect each one has had on me. No one can fully see them from my perspective, except maybe one person.

23. What is something you would hate to go without for a day?

LOVE.  I could not survive one day without love.  Love in all its forms. That's to say I could not survive a single moment let alone a day without my G-d and the Spirit He's put inside me.

24. When you look into the past, what do you miss the most?

I miss days when Jacob was young and so smiley.

I miss times of travel - I just loved our two month long road trips.

I miss my dad and my brother - may their memories be blessed...

I miss my pretty gardens, but not enough to put in the effort I used to.

I miss being thinner - I could do something about that...

I miss days of purpose when I felt such an integral part of things and had a venue to serve those in my community.

But, what do I miss the most?

I really miss how things were about 4 or 5 years ago - the sense of belonging to a group of people with a common purpose and common values striving to live out Torah as best we knew with love and respect for each other.  Maybe I was just blind to the reality then... no, surely not that blind.  I have to say, though, that I wouldn't trade the wisdom, maturity, and sense of ownership of my own faith that I've gained since then, either.  The Holy One always has His way...

25.  What memory from this past year makes you smile the most?

Wow, that's tough as last year was not exactly a stellar year for me... Looking back over the year's photos, though, reminds me of many times that made me smile...

~ every day we spent at the beach.
~ every sunny day.
~ every shared smile and wordless communication.
~ times in the home shul with the Chaverim.
~ the rhythm of the liturgy.
~ taking Jedi pics of my bestie at Lake Couer d'Alene.
~ every day when I felt balanced.

I think, though, that the one that really makes me smile is seeing the look on Mom's face when my brother surprised her by showing up for her 90th birthday party.