Book Review #4

In my perpetual journey of self-discovery, self-improvement, and recovery from codependency, I recently picked up this book on my Kindle. I found much of value in first chapters of this book that described with amazing accuracy issues I am working through as well as some simple, concrete practices that help with momentary stress. This author's view takes concepts I've read from other sources - Eckhart Tolle,  Stahl & Goldstein, Pema Chodron, Mark Epstein, Tara Brach, Melody Beattie - and puts his own twist on them. Each of these has common threads of thought stemming from Buddhist philosophy, meditation, and mindfulness training that are all geared towards teaching how to truly get beyond the surface to the true self and to identify  and let go of the pain we so often cling to from past events. 

Each writer adds yet another perspective on the same concepts, all of which have value. I found Michael Singer's style to be down to earth, though rather wordy and repetitive. His ideas could be condensed down considerably rather than restating the same idea slightly different ways several times in each chapter. I didn't much care for, what I perceived as somewhat arrogant and assumptive, the occasions where he tells the reader what they 'ought to' or 'should' do and assuming that some ideas should be obvious and that we can maintain enthusiasm, joy, and love at all times, if we work hard enough. I got about 80% of the way through before I decided that I had gained all that I could from it.

Aside from the stylistic issues I did come away with some gems that are tucked away in the mental 'hopper' to add the store of wisdom and practice I so need to attain the quality of life and relationships that I want. Not to mention just knowing myself honestly...

So, here are the quotes I found the most valuable:

"It's the commotion the mind makes about life that really causes the problems."

In referring the mental chatter we have going on in our minds continually, he says that we select, unconsciously, just a few of the "myriad things that we see at any given moment, yet we only narrate a few" - the ones that matter to us. And, "with this subtle form of preprocessing, you manage to control the experience of reality so that it all fits together inside your mind."

"What you end up experiencing is really a personal presentation of the world according to you, rather than the stark, unfiltered experience of what is really out there."

"Your consciousness is actually experiencing your mental mode of reality, not reality itself."

"If you can't get the world the way you like it, you internally verbalize it, judge it, complain about it, and then decide what to do about it." 

He continues to say that we process our "current experiences in a way that makes them fit with our views of the past and visions of the future. All of this helps to create a semblance of control."

"Your inner growth is completely dependent upon the realization that the only way to find peace and contentment is to stop thinking about yourself."

"To attain true inner freedom, you must be able to objectively watch your problems instead of being lost in them."

He describes the negativity that pervades us, that constant voice as a disturbance (think disturbance in the force!) and that it's like having a roommate inside your head. He says "Basically, you're not alone in there. There are two distinct aspects of your inner being. The first is you, the awareness, the witness, the center of your willful intentions; and the other is that which you watch." 

"The part that you watch never shuts up."

"Your awareness of being is independent of the inner and outer objects you happen to be aware of."

"We are programmed based on our past impressions such that all kinds of things can cause us to open and close."

"Begin by seeing the tendency to protect and defend yourself. There is a very deep, innate tendency to close, especially around your soft spots."

"... just go about your business and put your whole being into whatever's happening, instead of putting our whole being into your personal sensitivity."

"The moment you see the energy getting imbalanced inside, the moment you see the heart starting to tense and get defensive, you just stop."

"You can just sit in the seat of consciousness and let go."

"The consciousness experiences the creation of thoughts and emotions, and it has the clarity to see where they come from."

"If these energies (negatives) capture your consciousness and all the power of awareness gets focused on them, this power actually feeds them."

"Then because your attention feeds it, it becomes infused with even more energy and draws more attention. That's how the cycle goes."

"... change is the very nature of life. If you have a lot of fear, you won't like change. You'll try to create a world around you that is predictable, controllable, and definable."

"... you utilize the mind in an attempt to manipulate life for the purpose of not feeling fear."

"Your definitions of desirable and undesirable, as well as good and bad, all come about because you have defined how things need to be in order for you to be okay."

"How did we come up with the notion that life is not okay just the way it is, or that it won't be okay the way it will be? Who said that the way life naturally unfolds is not all right?"

"That which is blocked or buried within forms the root of fear."

"You actually take a piece of your stuff, which is nothing but deeply seated disturbance from your past, and you implant it in the hearts of those around you. At some point it will come back to you."

The practical advice I came away with is this:

"The moment the energy moves and you feel your consciousness start to get drawn into it, you relax and release."

"The moment you feel a change, relax your shoulders and relax the area around your heart. The moment the energy moves, you simply relax and release."

"You don't fight the mind. In fact, you don't even try to change it. You just make a game out of relaxing in the face of its melodrama. You simply learn how to release the tendency for getting drawn into the energy. The root ti where the consciousness is aware of the pull of these energies."

"Because the tendency to get drawn in is constant. the willingness to let go and fall behind has to be constant."

"If you are sincerely seeking truth, you'll let go every time."

"When your stuff (fear) gets hit, let go right then..."

"As long as you're watching, you're not getting lost in it."

"It's pretty black and white. You either let go or you don't. There really isn't anything in between. So let all of your blockages and disturbances become the fuel for the journey."

Now, it's not like I've never heard these concepts before - I have many times, starting with the wise words of my bestie. If only I could have internalized and taken on these concepts much earlier, life would have been easier, but as I am who I am, it takes awhile to get it. This is just one more step, one more perspective to guide me along the way.