40 Questions - Part 4

26.  What's the number one change you need to make in your life in the next 12 months?

What I want to change in the next twelve months is being completely out of premenopause - it is absolutely horrible.  However, as I really can't make it happen any faster, I suppose I need to think of something else.

What do I need to change, though, is thinking so much about me... get my focus where it belongs and work to be emotionally balanced.  I need to focus on the One I serve and those He has brought into my life to love.  It's a tough thing for this late blooming last born.

Everything happens for a reason.

Everything.

The good, the bad, the indifferent.

They all have a purpose.

Never forget who you are.

Never forget what you serve.

And no matter what happens,

keep your face turned to the light.

27.  If not now, then when?

I wish I knew... may I know it when the time comes. May I not miss it when I know the time is now... It has to be now.

28.  What have you done that you are truly proud of?

I've completed some really fun, cool projects that I'm proud of, like my Jedi belt and many of the rubber stamps I've carved.  Those things, though, are just small accomplishments.

I think what I'm really proud of, though I really cannot take credit for it on my own, is the growth I've experienced over the last several years.  I now carry myself with a confidence I've never possessed in my life, dress in a way that garners more respect, and have learned a tremendous amount about who I am.

As I said, I cannot take full credit for this at all.  It is the Holy One that has facilitated the growth in me through various 'trials', much painful training, and a very patient and wise friend.  I am so very grateful...

29.  What's something new you recently learned about yourself?

Hmm... I think the most recent revelation is that I deal with a lot more baggage than I thought. I'm learning to really believe that I'm not inferior, not a schlep, and how debilitating such baggage can be.

I've learned that I have a much stronger theological foundation than I knew since stepping out of a congregation.  I am so grateful for the teaching and training in Biblical studies, hermeneutics and the ability to study on my own.

30.  What do you want to remember forever?

I want to remember what 'normal' feels like for me.  It's been a long, long time...